Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
