did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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