I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
