i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
