i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
