Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
