Buhtt sex?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I am one with the molecules
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
