ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
