good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
