not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
