In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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