I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
