I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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