Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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