Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
