FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
