This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
