I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We need to get me chipped asap
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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