Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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