I bet he comes in French.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
