Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
