Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
