speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
