My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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