"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
