This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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