If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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