you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
