the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
