I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
