So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
