thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
