I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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