Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
