I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
