She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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