i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
