im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
