OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
