piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
We need to rekindle our bromance
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
