help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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