I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
