My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
