May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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