can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
