who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
