watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
