So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
