who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
