White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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